Amy: In this Op-Ed from The New York Times, writer Jared Sexton beautifully captures what he calls the “toxic masculinity” of Donald Trump. Sexton, who became familiar with this version of “masculinity” in his childhood, writes movingly about the self-protective function of this kind of bravado. He captures the emotional fragility underneath the posturing, while noting the dangers–to self and […]
Amy: I love this little post from Alain de Botton’s The School of Life. He talks about the importance of honoring the Baby in all of us. From a personal perspective, my best coach on this matter is my husband, who’s pretty good at letting himself whine when he’s got an emotional boo-boo. I’m slowly getting better at it.
Here are my reflections on a rather subtle, yet insidious family pattern characterized by invisible (unconscious) demands for false togetherness, the demand that all family members pretend to think the same. This enforced "togetherness" has a formidable, unyielding tone, suggesting it is not to be questioned.
Amy: Part of my attraction to the video “What Nice Men Don’t Say to Nice Women” (see post from 9/5) was that this was the first time I had seen […]
Dave and Raluca Jacono (Raluca is a wonderful therapist/ friend of DK): We both responded similarly to the Nice Man video. ( See video “What Nice Men Don’t Say To Nice Women” from […]
Amy: Here’s a rather provocative post from Alain de Botton’s “School of Life”. We were a bit ambivalent about posting it. I don’t like the ending; it’s too literal. It […]
The "Cool" Guy and the "Needy" Woman: It's not what you think Here's what this couple looks like under the mask.
Check out this riff from Louis C.K., the comic/philosopher of our time. He talks about the problem of “straight” for “straight men.”
Often sex is more than just sex. The sexual relationship between intimate partners has a way of exposing some of the underlying satisfactions and tensions between the couple. If the sexual relationship isn't working, the relationship probably isn't either.
Here’s another clip from Alain de Botton from The School of Life. Enjoy:
"Compliance carries with it a sense of futility for the individual and is associated with the idea that nothing matters, life is not worth living…"
DK: In this series of brief essays I have referred to marriage as a Wonderland, the magical underground world where Alice went when she fell down the rabbit hole, or […]
(This is part II of the post, “Marriage: The Primal Wonderland”) The Early Contract Dave: Romance begins with excitement. Love probably begins with shared pain (I sense your need for me). […]
Amy: “If you don’t start offending your wife, I don’t think you’re going to have a marriage.” I heard these words come out of my mouth at a recent session with […]