This question was submitted to us by a therapist colleague. She received this question from a mother she met. “I need your advice. Liam is 6 years old and yesterday he came to me with a question regarding something he picked up in the school bus. The older kids were talking about the F-Word. He wanted to know what is that word? […]
Good physicians take a clinical history in the interest of arriving at a diagnosis. While the clinical history is a review of ‘facts’, there are in fact, few ‘facts’ about human experience. Different examiners will get different histories depending upon what they ask about. Different family members give different reports of the same set of events. In my view clinical histories are a form of fiction pretending to be ‘objective’.
Dave: A colleague sent this quotation with image. I liked it but I think it was because she was referring to the many conversations we have had over the last […]
Happy Mother’s Day To All Our Readers Here’s something I received from my good friend Elaine
It’s common for people to carry childhood wounds from their parents into adulthood. Sometimes they seek individual therapy for these painful issues. See what happens when the parent becomes part of the therapy.
The idea of being “ruthless” sounds jarring at first, until we realize how it’s an essential ingredient in healthy living, both personally and professionally. It speaks to how we maintain our integrity in the face of demands for conformity.
Listen to Alain de Botton reflect on the benefits of being “kind egoists”. He notes how maintaining a healthy selfishness is probably the best, most authentic way to be there […]
Therapists tend to be good at being kind and patient with difficult people and they know how to put up with their patients’ demanding and outrageous behavior. Too often the demand for good manners persuades therapists to compromise their integrity in the attempt to maintain the relationship and to make their patients feel worthwhile. But compromising integrity interferes with the effectiveness of therapeutic work.
Here’s an inside look at what makes marriage both incredibly challenging, and, potentially, the most enriching experience of a lifetime.
(This is a re-posting of one of our early Oldies but Goodies) The Early Contract of A Couple Dave: Romance begins with excitement. Love probably begins with shared pain (I sense your need for me). Romance is a game-like shift into another sphere, a mini-psychosis. Romance embodies sex and sex’s more poetic, ritualized version, eroticism. Love, which includes sexuality and […]
Difficult Husbands seem to come in two brands: The Overly-Cautious Guy and the Know-It-All. These guys often look good on the surface, but they can spell trouble in a relationship. Here are some thoughts on what makes these guys tick, and how they inadvertently stand in the way of real intimacy.
Dave offers his reflections about what it’s like to be a psychiatrist disguised as a family therapist. Hint: The language is different, and no medications required
Teenage “cutting”: Teenagers are often seen in individual therapy for the self-mutilating behavior called “cutting.” Here’s a family therapy approach that stopped the cutting by revealing what was behind her apparent self-destructive behavior.
The modern Child Psychiatry perspective is limited to focusing on the child, without including the family culture in which that child lives. This narrow understanding contributes to the child’s isolation. That little person is usually worried about, and trying to help, the parents. No matter how it appears.
Fighting is part of both healthy and unhealthy relationships. But unhealthy fighting looks different Here are two types of couples with unhealthy fighting patterns: The Disconnect and The Immovable Object.
To fight or Not to fight? Sometimes NOT fighting is more of a problem for couples. Chronic conflict-avoidance can show up as extramarital affairs, or behavior problems in kids.