Amy Begel 0

A Long Marriage Is Many Marriages

Anyone who is married for any length of time knows that the relationship undergoes many transformations in the course of living together. Most of these transformations are unconscious, outside awareness, and often felt as subtle–or not so subtle–tensions between the couple. One of the most profound transformations occurs with the birth of the first child, that magic transition from a two-person to a three-person family. The unconscious contract of the relationship, that  subtle “agreement” which binds the couple , undergoes one of the most important stress-tests in the life of the couple.  Almost nothing tests the elasticity, the creativity, and the commitment of a couple like the act of becoming parents.  Here is a case which shows how painful this test can be.

Amy Begel 2

A Woman Saves Her Marriage…Without Even Trying

We talk a lot about how couples “create” each other as a result of ongoing, intimate patterns in the course of a relationship.These patterns are mostly unconscious, meaning outside awareness. And it’s interesting how change happens in a marriage. Mostly it’s the result of some indirect shift in the  undercurrents of the relationship, either in the course of life, or sometimes with the help of therapy.  It can feel mysterious, and hard to grasp.  Sometimes, when one person changes, it can make all the difference.  Here is such a case:

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Divorce Is Part Of Every Marriage

All marriages have divorce built into them. Often, though, we end up re-marrying the same person. This is a powerful–and painful –process necessary for growth, both as a couple and as individuals. In this post, Dave talks about some of the dynamics in marriage that help us understand this universal phase in the life of a couple.

Amy Begel 0

Help For A Shut-Down Man

Therapist Avi Klein wrote about the shame many men feel about their emotions, particularly feelings that expose a sense of vulnerability. We see men like that often in therapy with couples. Here’s a case of how one man allowed himself to be un-masked, and how it transformed the couple’s relationship.